Illusion of Love

We’ve all been there…heart stops then goes a million miles an hour all under a second of time. It’s the human emotion called infatuation and it often masquerades as what the world calls “love.” You don’t choose who you fell in love with, you can’t control it, and when it’s unrequited or you see it slipping away your heart tenses up, you’re filled with the thought to just want to scream “STOP….love me!!”

To those who have been on the other side of this, it is equally as painful because you do not wish evil on the person, you have felt that way before, and it feels like you are watching someone slowly hurt themselves more and more until they just collapse or move on. This is a very simple way to describe this, and I know not everyone who reads this will understand where I’m coming from.

Why do we feel like this? I barely know someone and I feel a bond to them that just will not go away, an emotional tie to them that I can’t or – more likely – just don’t want to stop feeling. We may or may not admit, “I want the other person to be happy, but – more so – I want them to be happy with me.”

What breeds this?


The scripture tells us that the origin of all sin in garden is simply pride, getting what I want no matter if it is true, faithful, good, pure, wholesome, or even truly beneficial. This is what makes is thirsty for more. This is what makes guys not give up, this is what makes girls an emotionally depressed mess, this is what makes men feel utterly deprived of any ability or sense of worth…it’s not truly about serving, loving, caring for, being compassionate, or knowledgeable as to what would honor the other person in our one sided love affair.

This has been all too familiar for me.

So what is the solution…?

How do we honor this other person whether they have feelings for us or not? How do we set out hope in Christ that we are not heart broken when our affections are not returned? How do we as men trust the LORD and step up and be men pursuing a woman in compassion, understanding, graciousness, and truth?


When we pray, we enter into loving communion with our loving, almighty, and good Heaven Father…her Father…his Father. As men, as its been taught, need to take on the full capacity of rejection so as to protect the heart and emotions of the woman. And this means being mindful of her heart, mindful or her thoughts, and being VERY clear about your intentions and affections so you and her know where you stand. This ambiguity in relationships has only led to secrecy, emotional instability and heart ache in many young people’s lives. Guys, step up and be men. Women, don’t throw yourself at any guy. You are God’s daughter, you are worthy of being pursued. Don’t believe the lies that you have to “put yourself out there” but don’t believe the internal lie of “I’m not worth a guy’s affections, there must be something wrong with me.” God has had you for a purpose and intention, and that is to love Him and be loved by Him, and until a man can mimic that kind of great love like our Heavenly Father, he doesn’t warrant your attention nor your affections.


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