Spousal-Remorse

Some never marry out of fear of “buyers remorse.” Do any of these sound similar to why many might be afraid of marriage?

“The anxiety may be rooted in various factors, such as: the person’s concern that they purchased a current model now rather than waiting for a newer model, purchased in an ethically unsound way, purchased on credit that will be difficult to repay, or purchased something that would not be acceptable to others.

In the phase before purchasing, a prospective buyer often feels positive emotions associated with a purchase (desire, a sense of heightened possibilities, and an anticipation of the enjoyment that will accompany using the product, for example); afterwards, having made the purchase, they are more fully able to experience the negative aspects: all the opportunity costs of the purchase, and a reduction in purchasing power.

Also, before the purchase, the buyer has a full array of options, including not purchasing; afterwards, their options have been reduced to:
– Continuing with the purchase, surrendering all alternatives
– Renouncing the purchase.
Buyer’s remorse can also be caused or increased by worrying that other people may later question the purchase or claim to know better alternatives.”

Yes, I’m aware I just compared relationships to consumerism, but flip these words on their head…how many of us single folks are still single because we view relationships like this…as if we’re a consumer? The harsh reality is, for many of us, we ARE consumers in a romanticized culture obsessed with selling us the latest, greatest, best, and fastest results now. Why do you think there are so many dating sites out there? It’s all about me me me, what I want, who I am, and what I want in a relationship that matters. Rather than serving, love, honoring, forgiving, and sanctifying someone else, it becomes about how “attractive” a person is before I ever get to know them (yes I’m guilty), and then about how they meet MY qualifications for a future spouse based upon “are they the most appealing physically, are they the personality traits I want, do they have ‘features’ that fit my lifestyle, will other people in my life approve of this person, what are things I might possibly ‘regret’ about marrying this person, and will I be happy and satisfied by my decision?”  Yes it’s sad and to see it so plainly really appears heartless and ruthless, but subconsciously how many of us actually think this way?  There’s the question…now here’s the answer…

I don’t know…. figure that one out, and let me know.

For me…I wanna talk to the couple who loves one another, the husband who serves and leads his family well, the wife who loves her family and honors her husband…I wanna talk to the married couple who is 80 year old and waddling down the side walk with a Bible in one hand and holding their beloved’s hand with the other as he opens his sweetheart’s door walking to church together.  My brothers and sisters in Christ, we must be done with consumeristic “christian” dating, pithy romanticism, and worldly conditional “love” based upon personal preference as if our future spouses were meant to be the ultimate satisfaction to life.  Jesus.  Love Jesus…not love Jesus first and you’ll earn a spouse…when we love Him, our affections are found in Him, when our attention is focused on Him, a marriage relationship fails in comparison.  It is only when marriage becomes secondary to Christ that we will ever truly know how to love someone…anyone…spouse, friend, family, stranger… Jesus!  Focus on Jesus!…and when your desires are His desires, He will give you the desires of your heart…Himself…but first He must become the desire of your heart.  If a spouse is the desire of your heart, you will get “spousal remorse.”  If Jesus is the desire of your heart, you will get Jesus.  Maybe you’ll have a spouse one day, but if you get Jesus, that won’t matter as much.

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